Are Gay Men More Abusive than Straight Men?

Kay, M., & Jeffries, S. (2010). Homophobia, Heteronormativism and Hegemonic Masculinity: Male Same-Sex Intimate Violence from the Perspective of Brisbane Service Providers Psychiatry, Psychology and Law, 17 (3), 412-423 DOI: 10.1080/13218710903566953

I have ranted on this blog often enough about the disparate collection of oddballs who seem hell-bent on re-constructing fags as fully sick: madder, badder, more drug-fucked, and more prone to topping themselves than their straight male counterparts. To me, trashing homosexuality is as wicked as showering us fags with assumptions of goodness, that is, transforming us into a ‘special’ category of people who have the disposition of Bambi and the wisdom of Solomon. The truth is that fags are just as cod ordinary as everyone else. We have no fully sick gene nor a superior brain implant delivered into us by aliens. In that regard, research emanating from Brisbane, Queensland, Australia, showing that fags within intimate relationships can be equally cursed with the biff as straight men, reveals nothing ‘new’ to me (2010, pp.421-422).

However, what this article by Kay and Jeffries (2010) does do is increase our knowledge of the lived experience of those gay men who are caught up in violent relationships. Along with all the textbook reasons why anyone might stay in such a counter-intuitive place (love, hope, self-blame, etc.), gay men can face obstacles to leaving that are specific to their sexuality (2010, p.418). As the authors reflect upon but I would suggest strongly understate, institutionalised homophobia was and remains rife in Queensland (2010, p.418). I could not even begin to imagine how daunting it would for any abused gay man in that hideous place to locate yet alone actually find a ‘gay friendly service’. It truly is the most god-forsaken, totally throwback nightmare in which any reasonable person might be thrust. The reminder, thus, is that the phenomenon of violence in any gay relationship needs to be set in its broader context.

There is, in Brisbane, a city of some two (2) million citizens, few if any support services to which a gay man who has been beaten or otherwise violated by his partner, can turn. Not the police or mainstream support services or indeed, even so-called ‘gay friendly’ services are sufficiently skilled or competent to deal with the complexities of same-sex domestic violence (2010, pp.419-420). That compels survivors either to suffer in silence or to seek out innovative, alternative means by which they can attempt to remedy the harrowing trauma to which they have been subjected: a good counsellor, a support group, a telephone counselling service, et al… (2010, p.420). None of these strategies, regretfully, destabilises the status quo of a community in which it is still ‘okay’ to hate fags and in which the views of many health and community service workers are as equally poisoned by homophobia.

Kay and Jeffries (2010) argue that:

‘It is therefore important that specialized male same-sex intimate partner violence support services be established in Brisbane (and elsewhere) and that these services are readily identifiable and available. New South Wales is at present the only jurisdiction in Australia in which a coordinated response to the problem of male same-sex intimate partner violence has been established. It is time that this type of response be rolled out Australia-wide to ensure that men who are being abused by their same sex partners are recognized, can speak out, be heard, and supported’ (p.422).

Alternatively, gay men in Brisbane should be encouraged to get on a plane immediately and come to Sydney or Melbourne to live where, being gay is so uber cod ordinary…