Modest Men Get Sorely Trashed…

Moss-Racusin, C., Phelan, J., & Rudman, L. (2010). When men break the gender rules: Status incongruity and backlash against modest men. Psychology of Men & Masculinity, 11 (2), 140-151 (see link to abstract, below).

When Men Break the Gender Rules… 2010 

We have seemingly grown tired of the modest man perhaps even before we had any idea of who he really was. Even though we know that men being powerful, self-reliant, and stoic causes much physical and mental harm to men and their significant others (Moss-Racusin et al. 2010, p.140), we would rather stare at that withering beast than his polite, less overtly masculinised alternative. Moss-Racusin et al. (2010) think that we are stuck with the aforementioned gender stereotype for at least the next 50 years, since the prohibitions against gender ‘stereotype violation’ are so rigidly enforced that change will indeed be a long, slow time coming (pp.140-141).

Men are built to be immodest, right? No shame, all gain, some pain, dominant but never subservient (2010, p.141). Sadly, all that effort men put into appearing gung-ho leads us into that terribly shite territory of undue stress, ‘depression and psychological distress’ (2010, p.141). Being a real man is truly sick stuff. The more we conform to masculine ideals, the more likely our health will suffer (2010, p.141). However, the reverse is also true, insofar as the less a man conforms to masculine ideals, the more likely he will suffer the backlash of being called a markedly diminished man. Modest men can be punished severely for failing to be all things macho (2010, p.142).

Unless I missed something, in noting the existence of this ‘backlash’ phenomenon, Moss-Racusin et al. 2010, p.142, are woefully short on detail. Apart from minor references to, for example, modest men being disadvantaged in the dog eat doggy world of corporate ladder climbing (2010, p.147), they fail to lay out a comprehensive picture of what happens to men who break the rules of prescribed manliness. I think that that if we truly want to free men and their significant others from the pathetic drudgery caused by aspiring to masculine ideals, we must first seek to better understand the reasons why so many men are stuck on that awful treadmill (2010, p.148).

‘Tis more than the promise of a piece of cheese, I guess…