US Man Care Baby Love Nursing

There is so much absolute rubbish around about the crisis of masculinity, and other such bunk. That rubbish is woefully short on hard evidence and excruciatingly long on boring, boring whining. Take, for example, those arch enemies of positive change, the inappropriately named, ‘men’s rights movement’, squealing as they persistently do like pigs waking up to the smell of bacon cooking next door. All those twisted pundits can offer is gloom upon doom, hate upon anger, and misogyny upon homophobia as the solutions to what allegedly ails men today. You would think from their mindless rants that men were the most oppressed majority in the history of the universe. So where, oh where is the truth, and, why do we struggle so desperately to hear it? Newsweek takes a shot at answering those major assignment questions in a series of articles about the US man…

• Labour market participation rates dropping
• Tertiary education participation rates dropping
• Higher rates of ‘suicide, homelessness, violence, and criminality’…

Yes, being a US man, like being a man in many other developed nations, can be tough. However, revisionist thinking, which advocates for a return to some non-existent golden period of manhood, fails to consider two essential points: 1) that culture can only move inexorably forward, and 2) even if we could turn back time to the wonderful 1950s, would men be any better off anyway? I think not. The ultra-conservative stance adopted by the men’s rights movement and other assorted doomsayers, imagines current challenges to the hegemony of masculine ideals as irrefutably misconceived. That movement categorises every glimmer of hope as threat, derides women for driving this positive change agenda and harangues any man brave enough not to wear the faded uniform of real man macho.

Rather than leap back into a smelly historical pit, which I would argue did nobody much any lasting favours, men, or women (although prima facie, some men at least seemed more privileged), Newsweek suggests that the US man could learn something from his Swedish counterpart. In Sweden, generous paternity leave provisions and other pro-active government social policy initiatives have rattled the sexual division of labour almost if not quite fully, to its rightful demise. No longer hung up on the notion of who stays at home and cares, who goes to work and does other stuff, many Swedish couples now mix and match to at once provide an ideal work-life balance and moreover, provide their children with an A-grade combination of love and support.

As Newsweek laments…

‘the U.S. is now the only wealthy country that doesn’t bankroll a bonding period for either parent’…

In addition to urging the US Federal and State governments, and big-ticket corporations to get serious about paid parental leave, Newsweek calls upon the US man to think long and hard about his own behaviour and attitudes. For example, why is it that he can be so resistant to caring for baby at home and even more resistant to engaging in any outside work that might reveal his human kindness? Why is it implausible bordering on contemptuous for real man macho to be nurses, teachers, or social workers? Equating kindness with weakness and therefore as converse to masculine ideals is an insidious gaffe into which too many men willingly stumble. Strength is not derived from deliberately shutting yourself down to the possibility of genuine emotional connectivity with others. Indeed, the greatest strength the US man might ever display would be to break free from his self-imposed isolation…

Smile…!

Update:

Ruminating on a hypothetical, sweet dream past that never was and thus, never could be, is such a no-no and yet, is so evident in this survey of US men by Cosmopolitan Magazine…

New Article on Men: Seeing the Masculinity in Depressed Men…

Click here to open…

Fathers Teach Their Sons to be Emotionally Distant

Psychologists in the United States have been pondering the impact that ‘macho’ images have upon the emotional expressivity of boys. Surprise, surprise, their research has found that boys who ‘resist internalizing ‘macho’ images’ tend to be better adjusted than boys who succumb to all that brittle violence. The trick seems to be not only defiantly rejecting unnecessary aggro but also hanging out with ma, brothers, sisters, and friends. Sadly, da needs to be kept safely tucked away in the doghouse, since his presence usually inflicts upon his sons damaging lessons of emotional distance and soul-destroying autonomy. Equally as sad, by the time boys hit adolescence most have succumbed to the unrelenting power of masculine ideals, with their futures assured as violent, lonely, and mentally disturbed men. Sounds all a tad too bleak, yes, absolutely, but a reality even in these enlightened times for all too many men…